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Adoption Adoption is an Option Pregnancy Unplanned Pregnancy

Unplanned Pregnancy? Why Adoption is an Option

An unplanned pregnancy can feel overwhelming. You didn’t plan to become pregnant. Yet, you do deserve to understand all the options available. While you may not envision yourself as “Mom,” as birth mother, you want the peace-of-mind that you have made a good decision for everyone involved. Having information about adoption will help you make this choice.

Benefits of Adoption for Birth Parents

  • Freedom – Adoption allows both the birth mother and birth father the freedom to continue your chosen life path.
  • Choice – You choose your level of involvement. Work with an adoption agency to make a birth mother plan and help you decide if an open adoption or closed adoption is best for you.
  • Comfort – As birth parents, rest easily knowing that your adoption agency has fully vetted and screened all potential adoptive parents for fitness to parent.

Benefits of Adoption for the Child

  • Security – The adoptive child will be welcomed into a family that offers safety and security.
  • Love – The adoptive child will experience the love of the adoptive parents and your love at allowing them to become part of a family that has planned for them.
  • Stability –Careful screening ensures that the adoptive family offers stability of home, finances, and relationships.

Benefits of Adoption for the Adoptive Parents

  • Family – Parents who choose to adopt often have been trying to grow their families for years. Your choice of adoption allows adoptive parents the opportunity they have been dreaming of – a child.
  • Serenity – The long journey to becoming adoptive parents can conclude with parenting the baby you birth. This will bring a sense of calm to the adoptive parents.

Types of Adoption

When choosing adoption, you have options for your level of involvement with the adoptive family and child.

  • Open Adoption – An open adoption allows you to be involved with the adoptive parents and the child during your pregnancy and after the adoption is finalized. You will have the opportunity to meet and get to know the parents adopting your baby. You can include the adoptive parents in your birth mother plan allowing them to attend doctor visits and the birth if you like. Learn more about Open Adoptions.
  • Closed Adoption – With a closed adoption, you and the adoptive parents will not have any contact before, during or after the adoption process. Likewise, you will not have any contact with the child after the adoption is completed. The adoptive family will receive medical records for both birth mother and birth father. This will ensure that medical history related the child’s health is available.

Choosing an Adoption Agency

Choose a reputable adoption agency that has the wellbeing of birth mother, birth father, adoptive child and adoptive parents in mind. The adoption agency you choose should understand the social, emotional, and legal aspects of adoption. This will offer you the greatest amount of support through the decision making and adoption process. Caring Adoptions is here to answer your questions. Contact us today!

 

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Adoption Open Adoption

Thinking about an Open Adoption?

Family on the beach

Open adoptions have become more common in recent years than they ever have been before. However, open adoptions can sometimes still be a scary thought when navigating between the birth family and adoptive family. Both parties want to have the best possible outcome for the child while also making sure it is healthy. At times, you may feel like you are not doing enough or that you are giving more than the other party. So how can you have a healthy open adoption for your child?

1. Get to know them
Get to know the birth family or the adoptive family before placement. This can set the stage for an ongoing relationship. Spend time talking on the phone and possibly have visits prior to placement. Tell each other what you want and would hope for later on. Possibly find out why they chose you.

2. Communication
Just like in any relationship, you want to make sure you are communicating your wants and wishes. If you want to have visits with the child after placement, it is important to say that. After that, work with the family or case worker to set up times/days that work for all parties (after placement and prior to, if able to). If you feel something is wrong or unsafe, communicate this with the other party. Communicate what works and what does not.

3. Honesty
Things come up when a visit can’t happen, you are not ready for the visit, or possibly the child is old enough to make that decision and has decided they are not ready. Being honest is important to let the other parities know when/if you are ready to have that visit. Not only that but also to make sure you are in a place for that visit. Things change over time and if you are not in a place where it would be healthy or safe, it might have to wait for a later date.

4. Boundaries
I often find myself preaching this one to many of my clients. I have had clients that have gone hours out of their way to pick up a birthmother just to have a visit. If this is you and you are fine with that great, but if you feel that you are doing a majority of the work for the visit and the other party is not putting in effort that could be a problem. Often in relationships that have no boundaries, one person might find themselves getting taken advantage of and that could lead to resentment. Working out a plan for the visit or for the communication from the start can make sure that no one’s boundaries are being crossed and it sets those expectations early on. 

5. Other means of contact
Open adoption does not just mean visits. At times, visits are not possible, but sharing the love you have for that child through photos, letters, emails, etc. can also be a great way to connect and stay in contact over time. There are now so many options with technology to stay in touch.

In the end it is about what is safe and healthy for the child. I have heard from many families in open adoptions that the other party is just like an extension of their family and it just means more people to love their child. However, there might be times you might need professional help to navigate that relationship even with other family members, and that’s ok.

Written by Valerie Ortega.

Valerie is a Licensed Professional Counselor- Associate, supervised by Shawna Munson, MA, LPC-S, and when she is not working for Caring Adoptions, she is do therapy sessions with clients at Restoring Hope Counseling. If you are interested in seeking therapy, please visit the following page: https://www.rhchouston.com/team-valerie and set up an appointment with her today

Are you pregnant and in crisis? Do you need a safe place to stay? We want to help!  Contact us today!

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